We are shooting at Universal studios in the backlot.   New York street!   It looks totally real, huh?

Here is pic from the set.   (I can't show anything that gives away what we are shooting.)

Here's a little video I did on set for you:

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Anyways, I am working on a super inappropriate commercial.    Shocking!  Wrong! 
 
People on the shoot are like, "This is just wrong."   They are even a little upset by it.
 
hahaha, and these are people who have seen a lot, since we do work in fantasy land…
 
Oh well.   Tonight is a night shoot and we get to more inappropriate stuff all night!
 
We are shooting on the Queen Mary, which is this old historic ship, a real ship!   That is also a hotel and it's haunted.    We are shooting on the deck.
 
And by the way, if you come to LA, you can stay there for like $150/night.   Not bad to stay on a real ship!    Here is the link:  http://www.queenmary.com/
 
Anyways, we make our living in make believe land.   so what do you expect… to always do stuff that you view as good or right?
 
Doing McDonald, Burger King, and Taco Bell commercials could be considered not contributing to society and I agree.    But the way I see it, is we've chosen to make a living making pictures and images that are not real, to make money.
 
The films make money, the commercials make money, and so do we.
 
We don't go into a dingy office to make money for an insurance company…
 
We go to sunny Universal studios and do it in the back lot.   And have salmon and bread pudding for lunch.    
 
Anyways, it boils down to what kind of life do you want?
 

Do you feel stuck?

There has been times in my life where I felt stuck.

So what did I do?

I strategized.

Hmm.  was that good?   Did it work?   Should you strategize?

Let me fill you in more.

I thought about it and was unhappy and strategized and took action… and I did get somewhere.

But the strategy skewed my results.

See, I wanted something… bad.   Probably much like you do.   You have a dream and you want it bad.

Of course, you're thinking a lot about HOW can I get this dream?

Who can I meet that can help me get it?

What can I say to them to make them like me?

We CHURN and CHURN these thoughts in our head…. over and over.  

How?  How?  HOW?

In this strategizing state that we put ourselves in… (Yes, we have put ourselves in that state)… We see obstacles.

We see lots of obstacles.   And we feel frustrated.  

We believe we are not where we want to be today.   We are not happy.

Ah.   That's not a powerful state, huh?

In this weak state, how are you going to come across?

What thoughts are you going to have?

We come across as desperate.

We come across as desperate because we are!

It's desperate when we try to get something from other people.   When you say, "This guy is a big DP and connected and I met him."

Then you are connecting your success to him.

You think you moved forward because you met him.   

Nope.

You have just hurt yourself.

Because you've taken your own power away.

You're connected your chances of success to something outside yourself.

When you should instead say, "I will make myself so valuable and I will do so much, other people will feel fortunate to be able to work with me."

Now, you work on your own craft, your own knowledge.

You don't ride on the pants leg of someone else.   Which never works!

How many people have connections with a celebrity?   Has a mom that knows a big producer?   Has a family member in the biz?

What does it do for you?

Nothing.  

And it shouldn't.

They will only be interested in knowing you if you can do something for them.

They don't want to help you.

They only want to know you if you have helped yourself.  

Once you've helped yourself, NOW you have something to contribute to them.   Because now you have walked the walk they have.

You have pulled yourself up from rock bottom and gotten someplace.   That's inspiring.

That way of thinking is something worth talking about.

They would like to have that conversation and they would be mesmerized.   A bond would be built.

Then, you collaborate and you both benefit.

So, if you don't strategize, what do you do?

I focused on learning.   I became a learning machine.

I became turned on my learning and staying present.

I'm not in my head thinking about myself and what I can get from somebody.

I'm focused on learning and being present.   I'm listening to every word someone says as if it was the last word that ever comes out of their lips.

That's being present.

You're not thinking of what to say next.

You're listening.  You're learning.

You're coming up with ideas.  You get on the treadmill and let your mind riff.

Idea after idea.

They keep coming.  

You are growing because the ideas keep coming.

One moment to the next is not the same.   You are now different.

You take 1 idea and have some conversations.

You say, "I'm thinking about…. "

followed with, "Do you have any suggestions?"

You're not asking for help.   You're not trying to get anything from them.  

You're talking to them like another professional would.   You're also going to get some incredible answers.

Which will give you a whole new path to go down.   

Then, you'll be in another place.

Not stuck!

Turned on and blazing your own trail.

And working with professionals the right way too!

This last week I worked 2 days on a lower budget commercial. A Production Supervisor friend who I've worked with for years called me for it.

It was fun… but you could tell that it was definitely more B team than A team.

Some people were either NEW or some might just not have been that good.

Like we spent 45 minutes setting up for a shot, only to discover the lights were reflecting in the glass in the cabinets. Total re-light. That would never happen on most of the commercials I'm on.

Other clues:

The 1st AC said "101 A" instead of "101 Apple".

When one is experienced, they are like butter to work with.

Otherwise, you give off clues that you are new and inexperienced.

It is not bad that you are new….

But, if you're aware, you can make a point NOT do some of these things… and look years ahead of where you actually are.

This is just some of the material I teach my people in our mentorship programs. But I thought it's good food for thought for those of you who cannot yet be in one of our mentorship programs.

The point is, these people are in the business and working. And still they aren't like butter to work with.

So, if you make a point of being so aware to study the flow of the set, to watch for things that can get us behind schedule, to listen to the words used and use them correctly…

instead of just going with the flow and not learning that much…

If you can do that, you will stand out and your approach will cause you to get more work and build a career faster than most people.

Food for thought!

love, Janet

This post is written by Oksana, Friends in Film mentorship member.

DEAR FRIENDS IN FILM MEMBERS!

I think it is important I share my little story with you guys, because I feel it holds important information that some of you may relate to and hopefully find useful.

FEAR. Fear of the unknown, uncertainty and lack of confidence.   I can't believe a four letter word holds so much negativity.  That was definitely my biggest problem.   I used to always be afraid.   Afraid to drive somewhere unknown, (I am in promotional modeling, so several locations a week was so normal, and it took a while to get used to never knowing where the hell I was going!) afraid of meeting and interacting with new people.

That balls to the wall attitude, that Janet has mastered so wonderfully, was a pure and undeniable mystery to me.   Gosh, I remember thinking "This chick is CRAZY!"   (Seen her Happy Dance???  Hahaha), in TOTAL awe, not in a bad way at all!   It cracked me up it was so unbelievable!   The way she approached situations!   Calling strangers to come to their shoots!   Christ, WHAT?!   HOW! I remember thinking, "Can I do this?!    I CAN'T do this, come on!"   I'm quite modest and reserved, (until I'm comfortable. :/ haha) when it comes to making new friends and acquaintances, and especially when it's a very important connection that's involved!   I begin stressing before I even approach the person, and get all weird on them.

Something I'm about to say is gonna "sound" strange.   But we all know, we are the company we keep.   So, although I've never ACTUALLY met and hung out with Janet in person, her mentoring emails have been my savior in a lot of situations.   And with time, SOMEHOW, I started inhabiting those little behavioral patterns she had… I'm serious.   The whole calling the strangers thing was not as unlikely to happen anymore.   It seemed very relevant, in fact.

And I'll tell you why.   It's because it sinks in.   Everything you're told sinks in, even if you don't think you were listening – it's our subconscious working.

Back story: I was always sort of a frightened little girl, cause we were poor, so I didn't feel important.   I grew up around parents and adults judging rich people (they didn't even mean it that way, it's because that was the way THEY grew up with THEIR parents being against rich – communism and all.)   Rich is bad.   Rich is greedy.   Rich is wrong.   Rich is evil.   MODEST is the way to go.   Humble.

About two years ago, when I started the program, I began thinking "Hmmmm… How about both?" [rich AND modest]

NOW I'm thinking "F**K MODEST.   Just have the balls and be rich."   I mean, yes, be a good person, true to yourself, live an honest life, be kind, forgiving, OF COURSE.   But you have GOT to be a shark, if you wanna make it big.   Don't be a mean shark!   Just be a shark!

By that, I mean, SIMPLY.  KNOW.  WHAT YOU WANT.   You want to get on a shoot – find your person, call your person, and make it clear you're just really interested and would love to help, because it's true.  

It's admirable.  

It's not annoying!   And I would've never thought I'd ever believe what I just wrote, but it's because it finally sunk in.

Recently I emailed Janet saying, how her emails are like a constant positive affirmation to me.   You don't think anything of it (you read it, you agree but you REALLY start getting it after a while, after it's constantly repeating itself.   So what I am saying, YOU WILL GET IT.   Just pay attention, listen, read carefully.   She means it, when she says it's gold.   Don't deny her words, in your head.   Don't just discard something, simply because "that's how you are", because it isn't true.   Let it sit in your mind for a while.

Everything that's in your head – insecurities, fear, lack of confidence, – it literally is just in your head.   It is the reflection of the past events that might have taken place, all those negative thoughts and fears are just the result of things that happened to us in the past. And that's how we CHOSE to be afterwards.   One of the things I ABSOLUTELY have to keep reminding myself, when I get choked up with fear (when I go to a casting call for the modeling agency or audition for a commercial or give a phone call to see if I can get on a shoot), is that There isn't anything ANYONE can do to hurt me, unless I let them.

It is so true, and it was a BIG one for me after I realized this.   Whether you decide to take offense is your call; whether you decide to feel rejected after an audition and not getting the role, is up to you.   I've read a great interview with this actress, and she was so cool about it.   She said, "I am so used to being rejected. I mean, you never know, maybe someone has just been broken up with by a redhead [she's a redhead] and they just weren't feeling the look."   I was like, Wow!   That's the attitude I'm talking about!   JUST like it is up to you to be scared.   This may sound absurd, but I know what I'm talking about.  

You really do choose fear.   I used to sit down, and really think it through.  

What is it exactly I am scared of in a certain situation and whether it is a real reason or just because "it's the way I am".   I've done a lot of thinking and understanding.

You need to understand how this all works.   Like Janet said in one of the four parts dedicated to Overcoming Fear (which is an absolute must do, it simplifies everything so beautifully), it is always a battle between the certain and the uncertain.   And it's all VERY simple (unlike how we make it seem in our heads).

You're either comfortable but unhappy (certain), or you're a little uncomfortable (because you're uncertain) but you're happy.  

You just have to, you HAVE to throw yourself into situations and just go through with it (for instance, MAKE yourself pick up the phone and dial the number, the second you hear somebody's voice, you know you can't go back, and then you'll see that that's it, – you did it.   You're on the phone talking to someone asking to volunteer/work).  

You will feel SO good afterwards.  

Think about it, all these people, producers, directors, they're just that – people!  Just like you!  

It's not weird AT ALL to call them and ask to help out.   I mean, you're offering FREE HELP.   It's a two way street.   That's what I kept forgetting too, I felt like I was gonna be annoying and totally random, if I ever called someone like that.  

But really, what's the crime?  

Think about it!!!!!  

It's just a simple polite phone call.   Really.   That's what it is.  

You don't even have to FACE the person, they don't know what you look like, they don't know you, there really is nothing strange or scary about it, at all.   If they don't need help, they'll just tell you.   And that will be the end of it.   (But I doubt they won't need help.)  

Seriously, what can POSSIBLY happen that would be as scary as you are afraid?   You have to, have to, have to simplify things in your head, because things really are that simple.  

 
 
Anyways, the reason I share this with you… is that this all came from the film industry.    Every single cent I ever made, came from getting in my car, driving to the location, setting up and shooting the commercial, the promo, the movie, the behind the scenes…
 
I did my share of long hours, tough little shoots but also the glitzy, glamorous shoots that you sometimes see me post pics on Facebook.    (Harder to do these days with the non-disclosures we sign.) 
 
There are SO MANY ways you can make money in this business, it's crazy.   So many ways to be successful.   
 
And I want you to know that, because I bet that you hear from friends and family that you're going after a unrealistic dream and you'll be poor forever.
 
But, I'm here to tell you, that is simply not true.
 
It can be done!
 
I'm proof and my students are proof.
 
So, email me and tell me where you're at.    Tell me:   What you want?   What challenges you have?
 
I will personally give you my take on what you should do.
 
I don't care if you join our program "Into the Industry" or not.   I care that I've contributed to helping you by putting you on a straight and narrow path.
 
You know I always say, the best path is the straight line.
 
Go straight for what you want… and then you get there faster.
 
Problem is, you may not know what is your straight line.
 
Well, I can give you my take on that, if you wish.
 
So, email me and tell me, "What do you want?  What challenges do you have?"
 
Talk to you soon!
 
Janet  (janet at friendsinfilm.com)

If you are trying and trying to make a name for yourself, and asking, "WHAT SHOULD I DO?"

Here is my advice to you.

Give yourself options.    Don't be a poor actor.   Don't be like everyone else.   Don't have your only skills be acting and serving coffee.   Don't spend your time in classes, endlessly practicing your craft.

Do things a little smarter.

1.  Watch working actors on set and learn from them.   Those guys have been there, done that.   Ask them where THEY get their training and go to those people!    Those are the coaches to learn from!

2.  Spend your time doing jobs that build real skills.   Make no mistake about it, the skills you learn when you get inside the business are worth money.    A few years of working behind the scenes gives you inside knowledge and also makes you a kick ass person!

3.  You'll attract more success if you're making good money.    No one wants to associate with someone who is broke and struggling.   That shows that you don't know HOW to make money because if you did, you wouldn't be broke and struggling.    So, people who are successful like to associate with people who are successful themselves too.    If you're making $100,000 a year, you're doing OK.   You'll feel better and will come across like a real player to people.

So building skills so you can make good money is worth going after!   Right?

4.  Feed your creative rat.   Generate lots of ideas and implement those ideas!    Look at Lena Dunham, she is an idea generator and look at what she's done in 6 years.  

You can't feed your creative rat when you're on the couch by yourself.   Or with people who are not in the business.   The best place to feed your creative rat is when you're in the environment where you can implement those ideas.   Where you see other ideas and say to yourself, "WOW!  I can do a version of that, shoot it this weekend and show it to this person!"   Your ideas are good and they are only going to be better when you're around people where you can get your ideas shot and seen!

5.  Learn to do it well.   OK, I have a story to tell ya.   When I first started in wildlife filmmaking, I went shooting with this guy, Jeff Foott.   He's a National Geo filmmaker and an incredible wildlife photographer.   I showed him my shots of lions and elephants that I took in Africa… and he thought, "Not bad."

So then we went out shooting (pictures) in Yellowstone.   He wanted to see my talent.  Well, I shot some weeds and thought they looked pretty.    I tried to shoot a chipmunk.   Blurred, too far away and bad lighting.    I thought I was good, but the fact was I sucked.    Really sucked.

And he told me so.   But nicely.   "Ahh, Janet, you don't have an eye."

I was like "I can learn composition and lighting!!!!"

Since by then we were friends, he said OK.   He said study these books.   Study this photogaphy and tell me why it's good.  He'd quiz me what the photographer did, the lens, the f stop, the time of day and why it was good.   I was learning.   And I got better.  

I actually shot some stuff that he ended up selling!   

So I'm telling you, you may think you're good.  But it's not proven yet, until a professional tells you that you're good.   And by professional, I don't mean a professor.   I mean someone who has earned a living on their talents because they are the real deal.

Fact is, I wasn't good.    But I got around a professional and became good.    I would have never known what to do, until I learned it from him.

6.  Learn from someone who has what you want.    Jeff made himself a millionaire as a wildlife filmmaker.    That's someone I want to learn from!   And he was my mentor and is still my best friend to this day.

7.  Don't let fear ruin your life.   When I say ruin your life, I mean it.   It will.   They say, "The number one thing that gets in the way of people's success is fear."   People simply can't get past the fear.  

Then, they don't go after their dreams like a shark in a feeding frenzy and they live a mediocre, low income life.   What you do today affects where you're at tomorrow.

Who you become tomorrow depends on what you do today.

If fear is paralyzing you, then it must be crushed.   I have an entire course I teach on not letting fear stop you.   

If there is anything to truly fear, it is letting fear stop you…. because fear will ruin your life.

8.  You are an average of your 5 friends.   Who are your friends?   Are they successful?   Living large?

Are you building friendships with people who are going places?   This Director I work is a writer for Saturday Night Live.  A good group of people to know.     He's tight with Justin Timberlake, everybody at Saturday Night Live, the people at the show "Girls"?   (He's also an actor on "Girls".)

He made friends with these people as he moved up and it all happened through work.   He didn't contact people on facebook and try to get somewhere.   NO…… He made these friendships on the studio lots, on set, in the production offices.    Through WORKING.

The friendships benefit him and his famous friends.   He has become famous himself, actually.    He can do shoots with his famous friends and get them on Saturday Night Live.   It's good for him, good for them too.  That's truly how you get to the top, if you want to know.   You keep creating value and making important friends while you do it.

9.   Always be working.   If you're always working, you'll never go through a dry spell.   When the roles aren't there that match your type, you're writing and producing or doing camera work.    

My friend Tracy, makes $500/day as a Camera Assistant when she's not doing principal acting roles.   She has an agent, but she also gets acting roles through working as a Camera Assistant.

She told me she worked with this Director we all know… he found out she's an actor, and said, "Why don't you audition for this role?"  and he also said, "But no promises.   This just gets you in the room."

Well guess what?   She booked the role.    Big national commercial.   $$$

He's also a big feature film director.   You want to be in his stable of actors and she is now.

10.  Learn to feel great about yourself when you do things that are uncertain.   Know that you are moving forward when you're taking action.    Do things even when you're shakey.   When you don't feel like doing it,  do it anyways.

There is no "way it is".    The "way it is" is in your head.   Your head can tell you, "I'm scared, I don't wanna do this, but I'm gonna just do it and see what happens, cause that's how I roll."

And if you do that, because you want to be someone who pushes yourself beyond your limits, you're going to benefit big time.

You will change.   You will become someone who is impressive.   

Because that IS impressive.

Most people won't admit it, but they have chosen to stay small.   They live the small life because deep down they are scared.   And they are paralyzed by that fear.   They push it back in their head and say, "There's no jobs.  I tried.  I don't have money and can't get started."

I almost lived a small life.    But, then I saw a vision of myself middle aged, single, boring, and dumpy.   It scared the crap out of me and it was balls to the wall after that.    That fear motivated me.    I would do anything to not live that life.

Well, the balls to the walls attitude ended up being the key to everything.

That attitude gave me the balls to come up to people and say, "Hey, I want to watch you work."    "I've studied your work and want to learn from you."

You are almost there.  You have desire.   But now, you just need to work on yourself to become that person that becomes super successful.   

If I can do it, you can too.   I'm not that smart.   I'm not that gorgeous.   I'm not super witty or creative.

But I have balls.

I pushed my fear into the back of my head and went forward.

You can do this.   And I hope now, you can see the massive rewards waiting for you when you do.

That's when you haven't gotten a call for awhile from someone who used to hire you a lot…You can tend to start worrying.
 
"Did something go wrong and they didn't tell me?"

Oh yeah, in this business, people get fired all the time.   It's easier to not call.   Think about it, if you were a Producer and for some reason, like…

You gave the Director a ride home and he made a comment to the Producer like, "Man, get here some breath mints, she smelled like tuna fish."   (maybe you just had a tuna fish sandwich at craftie… totally normal, right?)

Well, that's a ridiculous reason to not get hired back.   But in a business like this, if anything negative is said, some people will just hire somebody else because it's easier.   It's safer.   

This business isn't fair.   You've got to laugh at how wacky it is!

Anyways, when people come and go, decisions get made on any number of ridiculous reasons… you just have to…

FORGET ABOUT IT and ENJOY YOUR LIFE.    Get a latte.    Hug someone.    Feel the sunshine on your face.   Listen to those little, sweet birds chirping outside and say,

"Any day that I'm on top of the ground instead of below it, IS A GOOD DAY."

And it's true!   ;-)

 
But, not to worry, they called and I'm working with them this Saturday.
 
So, like you, I too have disappointments, Uggghhhs, and all that.
 
Uncertainty.
 
But it's OK.   After 17 years, I know it comes with this industry.   It's like this for everyone.   
 

How do you make people like you, so they want to work with you again?

In our industry, it's especially tricky.   That's because people always want something and that underlies it all.

If people like you, you are going to work a whole lot more.

But is there some kind of formula, some way that you can train yourself to think?  Is there a way to be yourself and also connect on a real level with people?

That's what we all want…. to be ourselves and have people love us.

But in the film industry, it seems like everyone is so focused on what they have going on… it's hard to get that moment to connect for real.

So, in this post, I want to give you some ideas… that you can try on, and see if your interactions change.

First.    Consider this… Everyone is trying to survive.

Yes, it's true.

Say you want to get in with a big Producer.   That big Producer has been working with a big Director for some time.   Their survival is tied into that person.

And sometimes, that Producer may resent or even dislike that individual.   You wouldn't know it, they would never show it, but people are dealing with all sorts of stuff all the time…

So, getting to know you, is not really on their radar.

They are more concerned with keeping the ball rolling, keeping people happy that are their bread and butter, and getting the job done.

If you get… really get… that the Producer you want to connect with, is just trying to survive themselves, then you can shift your perspective and your thoughts from "How can I get them to like me… to how can I be of service to this person?"

We need to get out of the train of thoughts that circle in our heads all day long… "How can I get this… that…"

and shift it to, "How can I help out that person?"

Now, if you're on set with this person, that is much easier to figure out.    Opportunities will come up all the time as you work together.

You see them coming and open the door.   You get them an extra chair when you see them bringing a new person on set.   You send them an email when their favorite brand goes on sale at zappos.   Hey, I do all these things.   That's how you make a personal relationship and the thing is, it becomes easy when you're doing what you do…. to be of service… not to get something.

You can also "be of service" to someone indirectly.

How?

Take care of everybody around them.    The 1st AD for example.   He or she is on their feet all day.   They don't have time to even go to the bathroom.   

Yes, they can ask their team of PAs to get them a cup of tea from craftie.

But, you can be thoughtful and make them one, and bring it to them.   

I did this yesterday.   I made a Zen green tea for myself.   I walk on set and just take in what's going on.

I see the 1st AD, doing his job, standing next to the Director, his mind churning on the next thing.

And I asked him if he wanted a tea, "Here's a hot tea, ZEN tea."

He said jokingly, "Do I look like I need some ZEN?"  

I said, "I made it for myself, but then I saw you and just wanted to give you something."

He loved it.

Be honest.    Be present.   Your words will flow when you're not thinking of what to say… or trying to make anyone like you.

Just be kind.

You can't go wrong there.   

Now, how does this build a relationship with the Producer?   

This is the amazing part.

People get a cheery feeling when they see you.    You are "good people".

The Producer will relax around you and you'll get to know that person and many more important people, by being kind to everyone around you.

I worked with a new Producer a few weeks ago.

You could tell he was a nice guy.   It was a 4 day job… and I thought over the 4 days, I'd get to know him.

But, I wasn't trying.  I was focused on being of service, doing my job, and making people feel good on set.

One day he wasn't there.  

I asked the Production Manager where he was….

"His wife had a baby!"

Oooh cool.   I had no idea.   

He came 2 days later to set.   He told a group of people that he had a girl and her name was LuLu.

I thought, "How sweet!" and loved the name.   I wrote it in my little book, under P for Production and his name.    

Then, yesterday, I worked with him again.

I asked him, "How is Lulu doing?   She's now 2 months old?"   He breaks into a huge smile and shows me pictures on his iphone.   She's adorable of course.

Cut to, a few conversations with him where set stuff is discussed.   During these conversations, I am not thinking about making him like me, I am thinking of doing a great job for him…. as I am focused on being of service.

I am very present during these conversations.   I am not in my head.

I am listening to every word.   I respond without emotion, totally present.   

Cut to, the end of the day.  We sing Happy Birthday to the Director.   The Producer has the message written on the cake, "Happy Birthday Dickhead" and crosses off Dickhead and puts the Director's name.   Male humor.

Now it's time to say goodbye and thanks.  

Now in the past, I would think of what I was going to say before I'd go up to them to say thanks.    

Not anymore.  

I remind myself why I like this person.   In his instance, he's a nice family man.   And a good dresser.

And then, I go up and say "Thanks!  Great shoot!"  with some love in my heart towards this person.

He said, "Thank YOU.   We may have another one in a few weeks, so see you then!"

I say, "Great!   Goodnight."  Smile as I look him in the eyes….

So easy.   

So few words are even necessary to make a connection.

This truly seperates those who do a good job, but don't get remembered… from those who people just have a good feeling about.

Try it.   

Don't try to make people like you.    Don't think of what you're going to say before you say it.    

Just be of service to them.   Be present with people.   And appreciate who they are and the loving feeling will come out of you.

To juicy and fun relationships,

Janet